Our New Landlords
Where I work, four Canadian geese have made the parking lot their home. We’ve so far not disputed this relationship… Partially because we like to think we live in harmony with all Creation. But mostly it’s because they’re frickin’ geese. They are mean, nasty creatures and we’re rightfully afraid to approach them.
Last week, the geese showed signs that they weren’t satisfied with our mere surrender of possession over the property. Two of them took to the roof to intimidate us from high ground; honking their toll of conquest. The remaining two stationed themselves near the building’s entryway and accosted anyone who dared venture in or out.
This week, they’ve relaxed their campaign to evict us. Perhaps our company sacrificed a middle manager for them as tribute. However, I think it’s more likely that the geese have realized that it’s just easier to rob us at gunpoint as we head to our cars every evening.
March 9th, 2011 at 8:11 pm
Geese are territorial hellspawn. Any large bird, for that matter. I’ve been to England several times, and each trip was marred by a Traumatic Swan Event.
Every morning at my sister’s house, we would get pots and pans and run around the trout pond outside to scare away the swans that the locals had fed. She would even get an inflated balloon, pinch the end and literally run the length of the pond squealing the balloon like a lunatic to make them scatter. This was favored over dealing with the swans’ presence.
Besides the ginormous dung land minds they leave EVERYWHERE, the birds are friggen PUSHY. If there were any doubt that birds descended from dinosaurs, one only needs to be aggressively approached by a full-sized swan, which is like a lumbering white Velociraptor, and equally thirsting for flesh.
…the HORROR!! D:
[Reply]
thegreyghost Reply:
March 10th, 2011 at 11:43 am
Geese don’t like the sound of a deflating balloon? This is important intel…
[Reply]
Em Reply:
March 12th, 2011 at 11:11 pm
Yes, we actually had hilarious video of her doing it, but I think that was before the age of youtube.
It makes them scatter, but not especially decrease their numbers. Actually the swan population got ridiculous because there’d been a campaign to cover fox holes, therefore eliminating the natural predators of swan eggs/goslings.
I think you know where this is going… RELEASE THE FOXES!
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March 10th, 2011 at 4:37 pm
GEEEEEEEEEEEESE!!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eM1wlHP2eDY&feature=related
I would say take the redneck approach and get a .22 on them, but dealing with the cops can be a drag for shooing a firearm in city limits. Maybe airsoft is your best bet, unless clean up of those pellets would be a hassle to deal with. Eh, let the night crew get that.
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