Words fail me in describing my reaction to The Expendables. At least, written words. Put very simply: I didn’t like it. After several failed drafts, I finally just gathered my notes, fired up the mic, and spoke my peace about this movie.
**SPOILER WARNING!** Proceed with caution.
Since this is just myself and no Kevin for this round, it’s not to be considered part of the Method to Madness canon, though he and I might have a followup to this on the podcast in the future.
Awww… He’s a lover AND a fighter!
What is wrong with this picture? (Don't worry, you'll get two chances to guess.)
In the Method to Madness podcast, I’m joined with my good friend Kevin “The Business” Gray to discuss great anime and video games that you should be watching as well as ones you should feel ashamed you are watching.
The Last Airbender is the first of three films planned to theatrically retell the story of Nickelodeon’s Avatar: The Last Airbender in live-aciton. After a decade-long sabbatical from producing good movies, director M. Night Shyamalan sought this as his own personal “Star Wars Trilogy”. Tragically, he chose the wrong Star Wars trilogy.
I should warn you, I draw many parallels between The Last Airbender and Episodes I-III in this review, but only because they’re impossible to ignore.
Having recently seen the new trailer for The Last Airbender movie, I immediately sought out Avatar cosplay. One of the first truly impressive results from my search was this cosplay of Zuko’s main squeeze, Mai, portrayed by Ashe.
Pumpkin is cinematic cheesecake–little true nutritional value, but tastes soooo goood going down. You see, I like my humor the same way I like my beer and my chocolate: Dark and bitter.Pumpkin suites my tastes perfectly, rich with the blackest of comedy. In fact, don’t bother listening to this podcast; just go watch this movie.
In the Method to Madness podcast, I’m joined with my good friend Kevin “The Business” Gray to discuss great anime and video games that you should be watching as well as ones you should feel ashamed you are watching.
There was something I’d meant to mention in the most recent podcast; specifically around the subject of haunted vessels and “Homeboy Gon’ Fuck The Phantom”…
I’m reminded of a scene from a contemptible horror movie from 2002, titled Ghost Ship. The premise of the film is that a salvage crew journey to retrieve the hidden treasures of a sunken cruise ship…but it’s got g-g-g-ghosts!!!
The scene is of one crewman, seduced by a phantom temptress, being lured into dropping trou and positioning himself behind her to tap dat ethereal ass. To his surprise, he instead falls through her intangible form, plummeting to his death at the bottom of an elevator shaft.
Now, his first mistake was impatience. If I’m going to get to work behind a woman, it won’t be in a doorway. I can wait until she reaches a nearby wall or something that will offer some resistance to my efforts.
Not a good plan!
Furthermore, if I do intend on getting in while the getting’s good, even in mid-stride, I’d have to be in pon farr to not recognize an elevator shaft. Should I choose to believe that the woman weren’t already dead, I’d assume that she wouldn’t be far from it after my first thrust in front of an open elevator shaft.
What’s most unnerving is the reaction of his teammates upon discovering his carcass. The camera stays fixed on their reactions, with his fate just out of frame. They’re distressed that their friend has been found dead; gruesomely impaled on protruding rebar…but no one makes comment about his pants being around his ankles.
Seriously. Not one word. Not even a perplexed wince. If anyone jumped to the conclusion that he was taking a leak into the shaft when his assassin shoved him to his doom, they didn’t vocalize it. I suppose everyone just accepted that Greer died as he lived…
This is a cool sketch comedy recreation of Street Fighter Alpha 2. Whomever directed it must have been a genuine Street Fighter fan, given the level of detail applied. There’s no way that any TV show in America would clear the sweet use of pyrotechnics, especially the ones used in the Chun Li Vs. Bison fight. Also notice Sodom’s Engrish intro.
My personal favorite special effect was Sakura throwing a pie in the face of the superimposed fanboy. The effect of Sakura’s fireball can easily be done using a fog machine, an Airzooka, and a stage light.
In the Method to Madness podcast, I’m joined with my good friend Kevin “The Business” Gray to discuss great anime and video games that you should be watching as well as ones you should feel ashamed you are watching.
This episode, we discuss…
Friday the 13th part VII
(and other horror movies)
Happy Halloween! Kevin and I had so much fun with our Phantasm podcast, we decided to keep going on some of the other horror movies we know and love/hate. I figured that we’d might as well keep the mics hot and share it with all of you!
In the Method to Madness podcast, I’m joined with my good friend Kevin “The Business” Gray to discuss great anime and video games that you should be watching as well as ones you should feel ashamed you are watching.
This episode, we discuss…
Phantasm
Phantasm is a fun cult series of horror movies that might be about an extra-dimensional Amish dude. He’s a snappily-dressed, hard-working man freeing up valuable real estate by turning our buried dead into enslaved jawas for his homeworld. Then two meddling kids and a sex-crazed ice cream man come along and get all up in his Kool-Aid. He is also made of banana custard…evil banana custard.
It’s not so easy to find cosplay of Street Fighter IV‘s new hotness, Crimson Viper. This is strange, since C. Viper’s costume design just about begs the attention of the cosplay community! The best that I’ve found is the creation of a girl known only online as Phoenix Kasai.
Not only does Phoenix Kasai fit the mold, but she also answers one of my biggest questions: How the hell do you get your hair to look like that??
