March 3rd, 2010 by The Grey Ghost
There was something I’d meant to mention in the most recent podcast; specifically around the subject of haunted vessels and “Homeboy Gon’ Fuck The Phantom”…
I’m reminded of a scene from a contemptible horror movie from 2002, titled Ghost Ship. The premise of the film is that a salvage crew journey to retrieve the hidden treasures of a sunken cruise ship…but it’s got g-g-g-ghosts!!!
The scene is of one crewman, seduced by a phantom temptress, being lured into dropping trou and positioning himself behind her to tap dat ethereal ass. To his surprise, he instead falls through her intangible form, plummeting to his death at the bottom of an elevator shaft.
Now, his first mistake was impatience. If I’m going to get to work behind a woman, it won’t be in a doorway. I can wait until she reaches a nearby wall or something that will offer some resistance to my efforts.
Not a good plan!
Furthermore, if I do intend on getting in while the getting’s good, even in mid-stride, I’d have to be in pon farr to not recognize an elevator shaft. Should I choose to believe that the woman weren’t already dead, I’d assume that she wouldn’t be far from it after my first thrust in front of an open elevator shaft.
What’s most unnerving is the reaction of his teammates upon discovering his carcass. The camera stays fixed on their reactions, with his fate just out of frame. They’re distressed that their friend has been found dead; gruesomely impaled on protruding rebar…but no one makes comment about his pants being around his ankles.
Seriously. Not one word. Not even a perplexed wince. If anyone jumped to the conclusion that he was taking a leak into the shaft when his assassin shoved him to his doom, they didn’t vocalize it. I suppose everyone just accepted that Greer died as he lived…
Posted in Humor, Sex & Romance, TV & Movies | 2 Comments »
December 4th, 2009 by The Grey Ghost
My previous post with a similar video was arguably staged, which I realized as soon as I saw the boyfriend’s bogus reaction. All the same, the video made a point that was worth revisiting.
The video above may be genuine, if at least more believable. Again, I judge this by the boyfriend’s reaction, which in this case does not look scripted. The sudden cut of the camera suggests a real couple fight took place shortly after. But then, his request that she fetch him a drink is a bit cliché. And why would he post her video on his websites?
Whatever… You boys and girls need to grow up.
Posted in Games, Humor, Sex & Romance | No Comments »
November 25th, 2009 by The Grey Ghost
As you can see from the video above, this jaded lady has grown tired of being ignored as her beau heeds the siren’s call of video games. The broadcast of this one-woman revolución is the unifying banner to all lovers who have lost their sweetheart to the digital seductress. Now, I’m not saying she should have done it…but I understand. Girl power, et cetra.
That said, I have this to offer:
For The Gals
If your boyfriend is a man-child and is cause for your feelings of neglect, show an exercise in maturity and just break up with him. The actions of the woman above may have been laced with a genuine message, but they were cathartic at best. Now instead of just basking in the relief of pent up frustration, she’s also earned herself a $300+ lawsuit. Additionally, he can always get another Xbox…and another girlfriend for that matter.
For The Guys
There is an ancient proverb, possibly Chinese: “No matter how good she looks…someone, somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit.” When the slightest signs reach the surface that your girlfriend might be crazy, run. If you’re a fella with an unquenchable hunger for gaming and manage to score a hot girlfriend, consider a few weeks in her presence to be an astounding victory over your peers. However, if you’re blessed with a beauty that is also emotionally sound, then maybe it’s time to put the controller down and start deserving her.
Posted in Games, Humor, Sex & Romance | 1 Comment »
April 25th, 2009 by The Grey Ghost
It’s very rare that dating sim games make their way outside Asia. That’s why the discovery that Europe will be receiving a translation of Agarest Senki under its revised English title, Record of Agarest War on PS3. The game was originally released in Japan on PS3 in September of ‘07 with an Xbox 360 port the following year.
Record of Agarest War is commonly described as a typical strategy RPG, though it’s been noticed by its unique “Soul Breed” system. This system injects dating sim gameplay, allowing you to create the next generation of characters by developing romantic relationships with the female characters.
The 'Soul Breeding' system, illustrating how each generation
in the game's story is determined
This isn’t the first time that dating sim elements have been incorporated into an RPG, nor is it the first that has been ported to the West. Some may remember Thousand Arms, a steampunk JRPG by Atlus where the lead character must date the girls in his party in order to draw the necessary inspiration to construct improved weaponry.
The idea of breeding–aside from tentacles or guro–is one of those that appear pretty frequently in Eastern erotica, though it doesn’t have much presence in the West. It’s not hard to find hentai where it’s regarded as a triumph for the male protagonist to either impregnate or at the very least, cum inside of the girl.
There’s an amount of sense to it, though. After all, the biological keystone for male sexuality is finding females with suitable genes to produce heirs. Referring to it as an “impregnation” or “breeding fetish” is often regarded as a misnomer, since its biological roots exempt it from falling under the definition of fetish or paraphilia. When you apply it to actual fetishes with themes of rape and domination, insemination is just as visceral as a symbolic means of placing your “mark” on (or rather, in) the woman being subjugated.
The concept isn’t completely alien to Western culture. In fact, eugenics play a significant role in ancient European civilization when bloodlines defined power. As we approached the modern era, sex became viewed more as a recreation. In fact, we tend to value sex without consequence even more, with the reflection of our growing birth control market.
Can we say...symbolism?
Even so, it’s easy to recognize the surviving unconscious drives that fastens mating as a factor in our sexuality. Social/financial status still weighs in heavily as a factor for how many women a man will have sex with and the physical attractiveness of those women. Alpha males have more sex with more women, thus their dominant genes have greater chances of being passed on to the next generation.
In video games, the idea of breeding isn’t all that new. Since Pokémon Gold/Silver (a popular game geared toward children), players have been able to breed different species of pokémon together in order to produce new types of pokémon. Final Fantasy VII encouraged players to breed superior “golden” Chocobos to access secret areas and items. (Though that often resulted in bizzare inbreeding.)
You may even consider the Materia Fusion system from Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII as a form of item breeding. It’s only when human breeding is introduced that its presence in video games becomes controversial.
Back to the game at hand, it’s unfair to casually toss Record of Agarest War in with hentai games. If there is any pornography to the breeding aspect of the game, it’s soft-core at best. Each female character has a wedding cut scene for when your form your blessed union, which ends in a “honeymoon” shot of the girl shrouded in bedsheets. Horny gamers looking for some nudity will be painfully disappointed. Even the hot springs scene, while titillating, keeps the girls respectfully covered as the main character ogles their fair-skinned girly parts.
Since the game has succeeded in achieving a European publication, I’ll assume that a North American release will depend on European sales. So far, the game has barely registered as a blip on enthusiast gaming news sites, but if the mainstream media catches wind of a “breeding video game”, that could be a deal breaker. Then we’re at the mercy of greedy importers taking advantage of a scarce print run.
While the game would only deliver disappointment to both strategy RPG and eroge enthusiasts, it would be a cool new cultural perspective for the gaming community. I applaud mature, real-life subject matter acknowledged in games. (Breeding is a fundamental part of humanity–deal with it.) Otherwise, video games just grow stale and cliché.
Posted in Games, RPGs, Sex & Romance | 1 Comment »
February 19th, 2009 by The Grey Ghost
Quick Disclaimer: This article is very NSFW. There’s talk of sex, politics, video game porn and other stuff your boss or parents don’t want you looking at.
Read the rest of this entry »
Posted in Games, Health, NSFW, Sex & Romance | No Comments »
January 27th, 2009 by The Grey Ghost
Ain’t this the motherfuckin’ truth.
If you skim through any Street Fighter glossary, you’ll see common terms that describe the different types of players. There’s the ever-blocking “Turtle”. The unstoppable “Beast”. And of course the novice “Scrub”.
There’s one term that I tried to coin, but never quite made it into the guide books. It was to describe the devoted girlfriend that waits alone off to the side of the arcade cabinet while her champion plows through the competition. This girl, I refer to as the “Cup Holder”.
As Street Fighter IV revives the fighting game phenomenon, fresh legions of players emerge with their sweethearts in tow. Luckily for these gals, this new generation offers them better distractions to occupy them in the form of multi-featured cell phones.
I do whole-heartedly sympathize with Gabe’s post above. Oh, to be that young again in this new era of arcade gaming.
Posted in Games, Humor, Sex & Romance, Street Fighter | No Comments »
December 24th, 2008 by The Grey Ghost
Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve been deeply enjoying my new toy, that being my PSP and I’m eager to begin building my library of games. I’ve been diving deep into the available demos, seeing if some of the games are as fun as they’ve sounded.
One game that had caught my curiosity is Patapon. I had no idea that it was a rhythm game, having no knowledge of the game other than the title (and that some people seemed to like it). It would be unfair to call this game a test of my own rhythm because I, in fact, have none. Just a few beats in and a couple “ba-doink” error sounds into the game, I was ready to smash my new PSP into a wall. For my own health (and the sake of my PSP), I deleted the demo.
Then this past weekend, I was visiting my girlfriend at her apartment when she received a phone call from her family. I knew it was going to be a full conversation, so I pulled out my PSP to pass the time. Somewhat bored of my current demo selection, I re-downloaded (via the WiFi) Patapon in order to give it another shot.
Before you could declare “shame on me”, my girlfriend returned and I offered the game for her to try. To my surprise, she immediately fell in love with it. She got the hang of it a lot quicker than I had; singing along with its repetitious chants. I found myself having to look away from time to time, since I would vicariously grow angry with the game every time she’d missed a beat. She played on until a rival Zigoton tribe killed her with axes.
I get the feeling that much like I did with the Buffy The Vampire Slayer game for PS2, I may be buying games for my girlfriend to play on my own consoles.
Posted in Games, Sex & Romance | No Comments »
September 25th, 2008 by The Grey Ghost
In a recent article I worked on for GotGame, I expanded on my recurring theme of gamer romance. This article in particular explored the idea of once you’ve found yourself a girl who’s cool with video games, does one prefer to play with her or continue to play alone while she cheers on? This is a topic I’ve often discussed with men and women, gamer and non, so I was quick to sink my teeth into it.
Having quite a few anecdotes in my arsenal, I felt that I should only choose one to illustrate my point. The one I went with is most appropriate to the article, but its close second is a story that simply must be told somewhere. If this tale doesn’t apply to you, I’m sure you’ll get a chuckle from knowing someone whom it does. For those whom it does apply, see this as a warning.
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Posted in Games, Sex & Romance, rants | No Comments »
July 17th, 2008 by The Grey Ghost
In Akihabara, Japan you’ll find this little stand that offers watermelon milk, among other mixed fruit drinks. This alone would pique my interest in that I’m certainly down with fruit-flavored milk-based goodness to cool me down on a hot day. However, the stand felt it needed a little something extra in it’s marketing. It claims that their drinks are a sexual aid, increasing one’s sex drive. They base this claim on the pretense of a supposed discovery by an American research group that eating watermelon is just as effective as taking Viagra.
I think we can chalk this one up to over-sensationalism of the media and then by someone trying to market the concept. I can see how watermelon can affect one’s circulatory system, but I’ve yet to eat some magic seedless that gave me an 8-hour erection. Both playing on men’s desire to increase their sexual prowess. I can see how it would work out for the guy hosting the milk stand since, let’s face it, what isn’t considered an aphrodisiac in Asia? Between rhino horn and bat’s balls…at least I can palate some watermelon.
Posted in Health, Random, Sex & Romance | No Comments »
July 9th, 2008 by The Grey Ghost
A friend of mine just got a short story published! You can get the book here. I haven’t read it and if I may be honest, I may never. Heh, though the title is undeniably charming. The theme of the story collection is not my cup of tea, but it might be yours! She’s awesome, so check it out…
Posted in Books, NSFW, Sex & Romance | No Comments »
