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Sekirei is an all too familiar animal to Method to Madness. For Anime 3000, The Grey Ghost and The Business examine this specimen through their unique lens. Under the microscope, the show is clearly a breed generously endowed with naked karate, Hubba Hubba, and most notably, Ah-Wooooooooga!
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When I dislike a movie, I tend not to get worked up over it. At best, the goofy ones will be valuable for a laugh or two later. But for movies that are simply garbage, I don’t waste a second thought and move on. However, if the circumstances are just right, a movie can evoke a mysterious rage from within.
Channeling this anger into something creative, I’m launching a new column for the site. I call it Reel Mad, where I deconstruct films that anger me so much, I burn calories hating them until the End of Days*. Expect it to be written, but like my rant on The Expendables, I may occasionally grab a mic.
The first in this series is Easy A.
The truth is that I wanted to like this movie! The premise was great! Girl does her gay friend a solid, there’s a big misunderstanding that paints her with a nasty reputation, and she embraces the exaggerated adulteress image to spite the misconception that a woman who has/enjoys sex that isn’t defined as a whore. That almost happened in the movie…but didn’t.
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For Anime 3000, the Method to Madness boys review Durarara!; a series bound tight in well-woven storylines and robust, yet colorful characters.
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It’s difficult to admit that I have a personal fascination with anthropomorphized characters without invoking the f-word. I’m no more a furry than a panda is a bear…or knows kung-fu while voiced by Jack Black.
I can confidently say that this is different. My preferred flavor of these characters is completely human, à la Lady Amalthea. Or, for the kids reading this, the Pokemon Girls. The familiar traits of their original form can either be anatomical accents or expressed through their costume. Otherwise, they’re indistinguishably human.
This isn’t a sexual attraction…well, at least not initially. Something about it just speaks to me. In the maelstrom of psychic alchemy, the conditions in my mind are such that this by-product can emerge. That is my best explanation.
There’s a review of the game in here; I promise. Bear with me.
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For Anime 3000: The Grey Ghost and The Business of the Method to Madness podcast experience Toradora! Volume 1, drawing in deep this rare breath of fresh air; a high school anime untarnished by fan service.
Toradora! brushes a bow string across the tightly strung cat’s cradle of relationship ties between it’s characters, accompanied with the occasional high hat of genuine comedy. If that hasn’t captured your attention, fine… There’s a loli, a MILF, and a retarded parrot.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download (Duration: 18:15 — 20.9MB)
It’s so hard to find good help these days… You’d have to almost sell your soul to get a decent spot of tea. Victorian noble Ciel Phantomhive has done just that: Offering up his immortal soul for the services of “one hell of a butler”.
For Anime 3000, the boys from the Method to Madness podcast weigh in on the first volume of the Black Butler anime. Fear not, my fellow man, for on the surface this appears to be a whimsical shotagoth romp, arms locked with indentured bishonen. BUT! Come the fourth and fifth episode, you’ll be fist-pumping and woofing to the sudden explosion of action and drama.
X-Men Arcade, based on the popular arcade game (based on the obscure animated pilot) has arrived to PSN and XBLA! Lured by the nostalgia of the 1990s-era arcade scene, I eagerly paid for the download. Was it worth it? In a word: *SNIKT!*
The HD upgrades to the graphics are attractive, but negligible for the most part. Like a crafted gift wrap, it’s the spectacle that captures your eyes, but is quickly cast away for its content. New voice-overs and soundtrack have been recorded, though you might not have noticed had I not just told you. And oh, this great century we live in where my home television can support the epic double-wide 6-player version!
This port is also packed with ROMs of the game from two different regions: USA and Japan. The Japanese version offers random item drops and a much more reasonable means of economically managing mutant powers. That being how you use up your power orbs before using your life energy as reserve.
The USA version does the reverse; removing the strategic aspect and more often resulting in your character’s demise well before they can use their power orbs. I admit it’s as clever as it is sinister… Modifying the game mechanic; thinking “outside the box” by incorporating it with the arcade cabinet’s function as a whole: To rake in profits.
You see, the arcade beat ‘em up, as a genre, was a racket. It’s laughable that coin dispensers were placed in arcades instead of tellers, since any player with hope of seeing a campaign from beginning to end needn’t bother stepping forward with less than a full roll of quarters at the ready. The cabinet’s belly will be filled either by the allowance of a single, overwhelmed player or by the collected admission of multiple players, bearing the onslaught abroad.
Whichever region you choose, the issue is rendered moot by virtue of the game being such a faithful port of its arcade progenitor. By ancient coin-op law, a player’s life expectancy is measured in 25-cent denominations. Continue to pay tribute into the coin chute and you may yet achieve immortality. In honoring this tradition in the port (in lieu of establishing limited lives and continues), a player may be resurrected to rejoin the fray infinitum. The game is essentially broken; hoisted by its own petard.
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So how do you keep an inexhaustible torrent of murder from descending into monotony? By relying on the arcade scene’s other great strength: Community. The human element transforms the game’s stage into a playground. There’s unique magic in the shared reaction to witnessing Nightcrawler pouncing on his sentinel prey, only to be met with a grenade launched point-blank into his teeth.
The multiplayer features of this game are beautifully managed. Online public co-op accurately recreates the arcade experience of meeting fellow gamers off the street, right down to the occasional team-killing, item-stealing trolls. To avoid this, you can create private sessions to host a party of only your trusted friends. Simultaneous local and online multiplayer is possible, though no matter what the setup, using mic headsets will make it complete.
X-Men Arcade is currently priced at ~$10, which is reasonable. But whenever a sale arises in the coming years, jump on it!
Run Time: 51min 36sec
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Words fail me in describing my reaction to The Expendables. At least, written words. Put very simply: I didn’t like it. After several failed drafts, I finally just gathered my notes, fired up the mic, and spoke my peace about this movie.
**SPOILER WARNING!** Proceed with caution.
Since this is just myself and no Kevin for this round, it’s not to be considered part of the Method to Madness canon, though he and I might have a followup to this on the podcast in the future.
What is wrong with this picture? (Don't worry, you'll get two chances to guess.)
In the Method to Madness podcast, I’m joined with my good friend Kevin “The Business” Gray to discuss great anime and video games that you should be watching as well as ones you should feel ashamed you are watching.
The Last Airbender is the first of three films planned to theatrically retell the story of Nickelodeon’s Avatar: The Last Airbender in live-aciton. After a decade-long sabbatical from producing good movies, director M. Night Shyamalan sought this as his own personal “Star Wars Trilogy”. Tragically, he chose the wrong Star Wars trilogy.
I should warn you, I draw many parallels between The Last Airbender and Episodes I-III in this review, but only because they’re impossible to ignore.
Watching The Humanoid is like pulling out a iconic curio from a time capsule from the 1980s. Its lead character, Antoinette, is based off of Hajime Sorayama‘s popular gynoid art designs. If ever you’ve seen a Trapper Keeper or Aerosmith album cover, you’ve probably seen his work.
Unfortunately, the plot of this 1986 OVA doesn’t contain much substance beyond the exploits of the robot’s familiar design. A long time from now, in a planet far far away, the royal refugees of a war-torn planet have made a new home for themselves on a lush, primitive planet.
However, some villainous douchebag within the empire seeks to exploit powerful ancient secrets left behind by a lost native civilization to–bum bum BUM–seize the throne and rule the new world.
Wouldn’t you know it: At the same time, our heroes’ cargo ship crash lands on the planet and unravel this sinister plot. Our heroes include such deep, three-dimensional characters as Eric (“the dude”), Dr. Watson (“the scientist”), Sheri (“the daughter”), Alan (“the black guy” or possibly “Lando”), and of course his newest creation: Antoinette (“the robot chick from the video cover, which is why you bought it, possibly mistaking it for SilverHawks“).
As this crew of clichés searches around for means to repair their ship, the robot Antoinette learns about what it means to be human, including our most mystical of emotions, love. The target of her growing affection is Eric, whose engagement with the scientist’s daughter, Sheri she covets; thankfully without murderous ambition. Had this anime drawn farther than a one-shot OVA, it could have easily become just another “Homeboy Gon’ Fuck The Robot”.
It’s no spoiler that Antoinette is not only the key to unraveling the villain’s dastardly scheme, but also is his undoing. The strength of both her robotic body combined with her suddenly-developed womanly heart allow her to bear the deadly energies unleashed by the ancient power, thus saving her love Eric, the Empire, and the world.
There are few redeeming qualities to this anime that would make it worth watching. If you were born after 1985, this anime will likely mean nothing to you. The animation is poor. The plot is hackneyed. And there isn’t even any fanservice for otaku in search of some fembot wank fuel.
