There was something I’d meant to mention in the most recent podcast; specifically around the subject of haunted vessels and “Homeboy Gon’ Fuck The Phantom”…
I’m reminded of a scene from a contemptible horror movie from 2002, titled Ghost Ship. The premise of the film is that a salvage crew journey to retrieve the hidden treasures of a sunken cruise ship…but it’s got g-g-g-ghosts!!!
The scene is of one crewman, seduced by a phantom temptress, being lured into dropping trou and positioning himself behind her to tap dat ethereal ass. To his surprise, he instead falls through her intangible form, plummeting to his death at the bottom of an elevator shaft.
Now, his first mistake was impatience. If I’m going to get to work behind a woman, it won’t be in a doorway. I can wait until she reaches a nearby wall or something that will offer some resistance to my efforts.
Not a good plan!
Furthermore, if I do intend on getting in while the getting’s good, even in mid-stride, I’d have to be in pon farr to not recognize an elevator shaft. Should I choose to believe that the woman weren’t already dead, I’d assume that she wouldn’t be far from it after my first thrust in front of an open elevator shaft.
What’s most unnerving is the reaction of his teammates upon discovering his carcass. The camera stays fixed on their reactions, with his fate just out of frame. They’re distressed that their friend has been found dead; gruesomely impaled on protruding rebar…but no one makes comment about his pants being around his ankles.
Seriously. Not one word. Not even a perplexed wince. If anyone jumped to the conclusion that he was taking a leak into the shaft when his assassin shoved him to his doom, they didn’t vocalize it. I suppose everyone just accepted that Greer died as he lived…
In our arrogance, we human beings prefer to believe that we’re sophisticated, highly-enlightened lords of our universe. The truth is that we’re still apes just barely out of the jungle. Apply enough pressure or hoist out the pillars of our worldly constructs and we revert to beasts enslaved by our savage impulses.
Case in point: The young man in the video below. His mother canceled his World of Warcraft account and his brother made note to document his reaction. Question my theories all you like, but you’ll understand by the 1min 10sec mark when his frustration occurs him to shove a remote control up his own ass.
My previous post with a similar video was arguably staged, which I realized as soon as I saw the boyfriend’s bogus reaction. All the same, the video made a point that was worth revisiting.
This is a cool sketch comedy recreation of Street Fighter Alpha 2. Whomever directed it must have been a genuine Street Fighter fan, given the level of detail applied. There’s no way that any TV show in America would clear the sweet use of pyrotechnics, especially the ones used in the Chun Li Vs. Bison fight. Also notice Sodom’s Engrish intro.
My personal favorite special effect was Sakura throwing a pie in the face of the superimposed fanboy. The effect of Sakura’s fireball can easily be done using a fog machine, an Airzooka, and a stage light.
As you can see from the video above, this jaded lady has grown tired of being ignored as her beau heeds the siren’s call of video games. The broadcast of this one-woman revolución is the unifying banner to all lovers who have lost their sweetheart to the digital seductress. Now, I’m not saying she should have done it…but I understand. Girl power, et cetra.
That said, I have this to offer:
For The Gals
If your boyfriend is a man-child and is cause for your feelings of neglect, show an exercise in maturity and just break up with him. The actions of the woman above may have been laced with a genuine message, but they were cathartic at best. Now instead of just basking in the relief of pent up frustration, she’s also earned herself a $300+ lawsuit. Additionally, he can always get another Xbox…and another girlfriend for that matter.
For The Guys
There is an ancient proverb, possibly Chinese: “No matter how good she looks…someone, somewhere is tired of putting up with her shit.” When the slightest signs reach the surface that your girlfriend might be crazy, run. If you’re a fella with an unquenchable hunger for gaming and manage to score a hot girlfriend, consider a few weeks in her presence to be an astounding victory over your peers. However, if you’re blessed with a beauty that is also emotionally sound, then maybe it’s time to put the controller down and start deserving her.
Penny Arcade’s own Jerry Holkins (aka Tycho) subtly announced on Friday that a Penny Arcade reality show was currently in production. He felt it was necessary to make a statement to explain why he and partner Mike Krahulik (aka Gabe) have been accompanied by film crew during this weekend’s Penny Arcade Expo.
He went on to express excitement about the project, which he sees playing a similar part to their podcast–an inside peek to the regular (and not-so-regular) events that occur during any given work day within the Penny Arcade company machine. Fans can only hope that episodes of the reality show will be released with more frequency than the podcast, which is notorious for taking months between servings.
If you’d like an up-to-date taste of Gabe and Tycho in their natural forms, you can listen to the Dungeons & Dragons Podcast, where they’re joined by PvP’s Scott Kurtz and Wil Wheaton.
I have a t-shirt that was given to me as a gift, depicting the “Peanut Butter Jelly Time” scene from Family Guy. For those who have never caught this scene, here ya go:
When I first saw that scene, I laughed because I understood the joke. But every time I wear the t-shirt, it’s felt like a curse because of how many people who comment on it truly didn’t.
The joke is a reference to a classic viral flash cartoon on the web, which you can still find here. It’s not even that old–it was made in 2002. However, to everyone who’s complimented me on my shirt, I’ve asked if they’ve seen the original flash and they have no idea what I’m talking about.
Most people know by now that Family Guy’s humor is mostly derived of referential jokes. It’s what they’re famous for; it’s what they do best. Even if you don’t catch the reference, each time they make one, it rings of something related to pop culture. While Family Guy conjures plenty of it’s own original humor, something as wild as a banana dancing to a rap song about peanut butter and jelly isn’t exactly something that can be written. Yet when I mention it, people usually respond with, “Wait… That’s from something?”
This is driving me nuts.
I’ve always had a passion for understanding comedy, but one thing I may never fully understand is how different people’s sense of humor can be. If you don’t understand the reference, why is that scene funny to you? When I attempt to pick at people’s brains, I’ve been able to come up with two theories:
“Oh, this is a joke! I should laugh at it!”
People can usually recognize when a joke is in front of them, whether they get it or not. But there’s an insecurity inside them that doesn’t want to appear stupid to the people who do get the joke, so they laugh anyway. In a way, they think it’s funny because they are told that it’s funny, whether they genuinely find it humorous or not.
“Ha ha! Silly doggy sing and dancing crazy!”
I believe that most people don’t really mature much beyond their toddler years. Much of this can be reflected in their sense of humor. I love a good fart joke every now and then, but have grown to appreciate other concepts. Those whose tastes haven’t expanded beyond farts (ironically) will laugh at damn near anything.
I also think there’s a correlation depending on whether or not the person has children. There’s a phenomenon that I’ve noticed akin to Bill Cosby’s “My wife and I used to be intellectuals…” routine (found on the “Himself” album), where people who have children revert to being children themselves. It makes a certain amount of sense in that you have to regress yourself a bit in order to relate and communicate with the child, especially when humor is involved. Unfortunately, most adults tend to get stuck in this mode; maintaining the sense of humor of a 9-year-old while the child eventually grows and surpasses the parent in maturity. At least, until they have children of their own.
Maybe I’m being cynical about human behavior. Maybe I’m being a comedy snob. But maybe I’m on to something. In either case, I will do my part mend the ignorance. Here’s some knowledge:
There’s been an internet meme floating around for a while that has me tickled. It’s called “What I Watched, What I Expected, What I Got“. Basically, it’s a 3-panel comic strip where you post an anime (or game, or whatever) in the first panel. Then the second panel gives a visual of what you expected the experience to be going in, followed by a more accurate illustration of the experience in the third.
Many of these strips I’ve found to be dead-on with how I interpreted these shows myself after having seen them. Below I’ve posted a few of my favorites. How do they stack against your encounters with these shows?
