Hindsight is 20/20…or at least 20/25, I’d say. Certainly, there’s a clarity of focus; assuming there aren’t any obstructions or distortions to the lens.
One of my favorite subjects of study is human behavior and romance. To quote Doc Brown, “Time-traveling is just too dangerous. Better that I devote myself to study the other great mystery of the universe: Women.” The broader my comprehension expands, the more I look back and notice clues I’d failed to notice in the past. Apparently, there were quite a few girls in my teens and 20s that were into me–some quite overtly–but my ignorance and self-esteem blinded me to it.
One girl in particular (I’ll refer to her as “Lindsay” here) highlights this sensation, since it’s with her that I regret most not seeing the signs. I’d known Lindsay since First Grade and were pretty close for a while at that age. We stayed familiar through high school, despite splitting off into different social circles.
Said circles were polar opposites; alien worlds from distant edges of the Generation X galaxy. Most often, I could be found among the dregs… The awkward, outcast dorks and D-students. Meanwhile, Lindsay was one of the geek elite. More than just a hot nerd; she was an Alpha: In our high school’s Top 10 percentile in grade point average, hotness, extracurricular activities, and just being cooooool. It amazed me that she’d managed to remember my name by the time we’d graduated.
Looking back through our time in high school, I remember a couple encounters when she’d hint that we should hang out together more often. In our junior year, she’d gotten her license and a car… And every time she would see me walking to the bus stop in the morning, she would pull over and offer me a ride to school. Then there was this one time, a couple weeks after I’d started going to community college, when she came to my house to ask me to show her around the campus since she was about to start going there herself. Each and every time one of these moments would occur, I’d decided it was just because, you know, Lindsay and I…? Yeah, we go way back.
It wouldn’t be for another decade that I’d do the math and erupt in illuminated realization… She was [most likely] giving me all the signals! I totally had a shot with one of the hottest girls I’d ever known! And I totally blew it.
Had I been more savvy in my youth, there’s no telling what potential relationship I’d have with Lindsay, though I doubt it would go as far as “happily ever after”. But it doesn’t matter if I never made it to the championships and score the winning point… It’s just knowing that I was in the game. It’s like I’d been sitting on the bench, but I’m too distracted to hear the coach calling me to my chance on the field.
I looked her up a couple years ago out of curiosity. She’s married now, with children (well, she already had a daughter while in high school), successful, and still unreasonably beautiful.
It is possible for you, my reader, to see what she looked like. I’m 97% certain that she appeared in a music video for Everclear’s “Everything to Everyone”. When I first saw this on television, it was the first time I’d ever done a genuine spit take. Click the Play button below… She’s the schoolgirl in the sweater on the left.
At the time, my friends and I had suspicions that it was Lindsay that we were seeing here, but in this 480p YouTube video, I’m ready to put down serious money to bet that it’s her. The timing fits, since the video debuted in 1997, she lived in Southern California (where I’m assuming the video was shot), and she was active in high school theater…which leads me to easily imagine her auditioning for this video.
Realizing what I’d let slip through my fingers, I’ve made special effort to be vigilant in reading the body language and tells while interacting with women. I’d hate to have Opportunity not only knock, but also open the door for me, only for me to not have the smarts to walk through.