I’ve been (mostly) consistent with my daily cardio workouts for about two weeks now. I missed a day or two when my original jump rope broke, but have since grabbed a much more reliable leather one (on Kevin’s recommendation).

I’m proud to find that my stamina’s noticeably increased! When I first started, I was barely able to get through three sets of 30 before crumpling into a mess of shame on the floor. I’m currently up to three sets of 30 in the morning before work, then five more sets when I get home from work. I only wish my appearance would start to catch up with how I feel.

No doubt, I’m probably doing a lot of things wrong. I’ve tried to read up on effective workout and weight training programs. Many of them, of course, coming from Kevin. To be honest, the calculations and charting your daily life to meet those goals are more exhausting to me than the physical workouts. I believe that because Kevin has a background enriched with playing tabletop RPGs, micro-managing stats suits him with greater ease. Meanwhile, I’m from the school of video JRPGs: Let someone else do the math; I’m all about the grind.

To put it in an even sillier way, it’s like Rocky IV. Kevin trains like Ivan Drago, though that’s not to vilify him. He’d be the one hooked up to machines, monitors, and computers for his training. Meanwhile, I’m out there running up the stairs and streets of the city, punching sides of beef, and chasing chickens.

Simply put, I keep things simple. That’s just how I operate. While I’d love to take on fitness programs like P90X, Delta Fit, or Body Beast (that one just sounds awesome), they’re a bit intimidating. I figure that a bad plan is better than no plan, so my plan is the “Get Your Ass Off the Couch and Move, Fatty!” workout. It’s just that simple: The very first thing I need to do is break the old habits of sloth that got me in this condition. I need to force myself to burn some calories and break a sweat. Meanwhile, of course, controlling my diet, which is a challenge in itself, though the easier of the two.

For the past couple weeks, that’s exactly what I’ve been doing: Grinding. I need to be patient for the weight to really come off, so in the meantime I’m trying to appreciate the other rewards. One thing’s for sure, I feel a whole lot less depressed than I did months ago! I haven’t even really sorted out my issues of direction and goals, but at least now I’m charged up and on the move!

The closest thing I have to a goal is that there’s a girl that I want to impress by getting myself in better shape. Call it lame, but whatev’s; she gets me moving. As much as I want to approach her now, I know I shouldn’t. Right now, I’m still in the area where if she rejected me, I’d spiral down into despair and lose all my motivation. I need to continue building on myself so that even if I run the risk of rejection–or even missing the opportunity to approach her ever again–I can continue on with confidence.

I believe that we’re subject to some kind of cosmic attraction… It can be karma or some other form of gravity; I don’t know the best term for it. When I’m sitting around, alone and miserable, I got nothin’ going for me. But as I build upon myself, more doors of opportunity open. The doors leading to my desires will gravitate within my reach. If I keep with that momentum, doors I’d never even knew existed before because they were so far outside my visual range. The more I grow, the more that draws closer to me.

Or some shit. I suppose the idea is that as long as I keep going onward and upward, I’ll find something that will then give me direction. All I know is that it’s better than giving up.