For those fortunate enough to have picked up Capcom Classics Collection 2 for the PlayStation2, one of the unlockable prizes is a game called Capcom Quiz, which is a revision of Quiz & Dragons that themes its questions specifically on the Capcom brand. It’s a fun exercise of trivia for Capcom fanboys like myself who love the company’s games enough to have purchased this collection.

During my own quiz quest, one of the questions I was challenged with regarded from where the company name “Capcom” was derived. One possible choice was “Captain Commando”, a character who is known for his own title as well as making appearances in more recent titles in the Versus fighting game line. This would have been the choice entered by most of my peers, however they would be tragically incorrect. If I may invoke a spark of righteous in-dork-nation, this strikes as one of the many pet peeves among my Capcom and overall game-loving brethren.

First of all, the correct answer to the question above is “Capsule Computers”, condensed into CapCom, in the similar fashion of Japanese names stemming from abbreviations of phrases such as Sega (Service & Games) and Nintendo’s Famicom (Family Computer). Rather than lending his name to the company moniker, it was the other way around for Captain Commando. Years after the company was established, his character was developed and appeared as Capcom’s mascot inside their video games’ instruction manuals. It’s an easy mistake to make, but it’s akin to those who believe that McDonald’s was named after (or founded by) Ronald McDonald.

To make it easier, let’s do a bit of math. The Capcom company was founded in 1979, not even producing their first arcade game until 1984. Assuming you’re not as big a trivia nerd to know those tidbits, just think back to some of their more familiar mainstream games that carried the Capcom logo… The first Mega Man game came out in the 1987 and Final Fight was released in 1989. Captain Commando’s feature title (which most game nerds will claim is where the name connection was first established) didn’t hit the arcade scene until 1991.

I wish I knew why these things trouble me. I’m usually much more tolerant of elitist dorks spouting garbage as if it’s relevant or factual. It may even be related to myself being a stickler to the use of proper English to the effect of applying correct terminology.

To expand a bit–and let me preface this by explaining how I categorize breeds of geek–I see a “geek” as someone who is passionate about the obscure and fantastic, whether it be technology, fantasy, or pop-culture. A “nerd” is someone who is not only passionate, but knowledgeable…often having one or two areas of expertise. A “dork” (as I associate to most fanboys) is someone who has the passions of a geek, but is far less what I’d call clever. They lack the knowledge and wit that their geek cousins possess, yet often assume they possess both in abundance. Lastly, a “spaz” is a dork with waaaay too much passion, but let’s try to move forward in this tangent, shall we?

Dorks, being less clever, can’t seem to present anything truly inspiring, try as they might. In fact, I often sense my own IQ dissipate after long exposures to these poor souls unable to think outside the box. For they’re the ones who romantically indulge in ideas that never go much deeper than their own novelty. Much like the never-ending conversations I’ve witnessed expressing the demand of a Marvel Vs. Capcom 3, Marvel Vs. DC, or any kind of bloated crossover fighting game. Sure, the premise may sound exciting, but if that’s as far as you can go in terms of exploring the depth of how or if it’s truly a worthwhile fighting game concept, then it doesn’t have a leg to stand on. And if you notice, about 9 out of 10 ideas pitched by dorks are crossover-themed, involving two already established entities, few of which would either be appropriate for a video game setting nor easy to execute on the level of licensing. The remaining 1 out of 10 is either a rehash or a combination of currently existing concepts.

Back to my own irritation, I feel that it’s painful enough that dorks are imaginatively lame would be so much less so if they could at least get their facts straight before building upon these pipe dreams.

Another example of recurring misnomers that twist my nipples is I can’t tell you how many fanboys keep referring to Darkstalker’s Morrigan as “Morgana”. Why do they do that? How are those wires getting crossed? You can see not only the in-game text, but her name is also printed in any game-related document. Most of the recent games will provide a sound bite announcing her name as “Morrigan”. How does one–not just make that mistake once, at first–but continue to factually and unapologetically state her name as “Morgana”?

I mention that example because I believe I’m not alone in that experience. Certainly someone reading this has as well! I’ve personally overheard it pass the lips of people across the country, spanning the past 10 years or so. As if from some kind of peculiar collective consciousness! Is it because it’s the only name (having the sound of “morgue” in it’s accented syllable*) that dorks can call upon for a female horror monster, regardless if she does or does not resemble the bride of Frankenstein? It’s come to be one of the signals that I use to recognize that I’m dealing with someone who falls into my own “dork” category. To this day, it’s yet to fail me. I hope I’ve passed on a useful tool to you as well.

Thus concludes this episode of my alienation of my peers. As well as an illustration why I’m at home playing Capcom trivia video games instead of being surrounded by my fellow geek friends.

*Ironically, I find that another term for “accented syllable” is “mora”, which would
be a good mnemonic device, since that is the accented syllable in “Morrigan”.

This entry was posted on Saturday, August 2nd, 2008 at 10:18 am and is filed under Games, Rants. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.