Where are all the dead squirrels? Where do they go when they die? Not in a theological sense; I mean seriously, where the frick are they?? I see squirrels frolicking about wherever I may venture, but not a single dead one upon the ground.

The only instances where I’ve ever seen a dead squirrel is in the aftermath of being tragically hit by a car or caught by a predator. It leads me to wonder…do squirrels ever die of natural causes? Like old age or cancer? You never see a case where a squirrel is gleefully stowing acorns into his nest, then suddenly clench his chest and drop like a stone to the earth below. Color me morbid, but this world would just make so much more sense if occasionally squirrels would appear to fall from the sky.

The death doesn’t have to be the result of an ailment… What if the squirrel is just clumsy? Do not even squirrels apply to the laws of natural selection? All it would take is one miscalculated leap from tree to tree and he’s boned. Be that as it may, you never go for a stroll and suddenly hear the sound of a squirrel’s equivalent of “AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!”, followed by a terminal *SPLAT*. Why is that??

Are squirrels immortal? Do they laugh in the face of the Grim Reaper, immune to his touch? Can they not die unless life is stripped from them? Or is it just a the formula of coincidence and timing that they appear to only be killed by outside forces? Do the numbers add up between the rate that they reproduce and the rate at which they’re killed? Have squirrels as a species been blessed with such a dealt hand…or cursed? The world (or at least I) may never know…

This entry was posted on Thursday, July 24th, 2008 at 6:47 pm and is filed under Random. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.